how many times You have been in this situation and .. Keep on it..What Is Abuse?. What Causes Violence?Characteristics of Men Who Batter .. COWARDS. HOW many you know ,live with. accept them or allow it. JR Zero Tolerance to Violence.

There are four forms of battering:

1.	Physical - includes pushing, shoving, slapping, hitting with fist, kicking, choking, grabbing, pinching, pulling hair, or threatening with weapons.
2.	Sexual - includes forced sex with the threat of violence, sex after violence has occurred, or the use of objects or damaging acts without the woman's consent.
3.	Psychological/Emotional - includes brainwashing, control of the woman's freedom to come and go when she chooses.
4.	Destruction of property or pets.

What Causes Violence?

The causes are rarely physiological, nor does the use of alcohol cause the violence to occur. 

Alcohol and chemical abuse are often found with abusive behavior, and their use can be determined as "factors". However, the problems of violent behavior are not caused by the alcohol or chemical substance. Violence is a learned behavior or learned response to stress, frustration and anger. In a broader context, it is a result of unequal power between men and women.

Myth: It's all right to hit a loved one for their own "good".

Truth: Violence is learned, and it is passed on from generation to generation.

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Characteristics of Men Who Batter
Most have been abused or neglected during their childhood, or have witnessed violence in their homes while growing up. At least 70% of the men who batter were either battered as children or saw violence occur regularly in their homes. They minimize and deny to themselves about the violence; they project blame onto the victim; it is painful if and when they fully realize what they've done.
Abusive men tend to express "hard" emotions, guilt, frustration, hurt, ect. as anger. Generally expressing either happiness or anger, but nothing in between. Everything is either fine and wonderful, or there is a violent explosion.
Batterers tend to be excessively dependent on the victim--they perceive their partner as the only person they can relate to, who understands them, etc., regardless of how much they actually share with their partner. They have a extraordinary fear of losing the relationship and can go to any lengths (even murder) to keep it.
Batterers have an exaggerated jealousy around "their woman" having any relationships with other people, i.e.; friends, family members, co-workers. They may even constantly monitor her activities. The jealousy generally escalates during the relationship, without any aggravation.
Abusers often experience themselves as powerless in the world and over themselves, regardless of actual life accomplishments or status. They personalize often--they see everything (both good and bad) in their lives, as causing the events in their lives, i.e.; "if she didn't irritate him, he wouldn't have to hit her".
They often are impulsive--move frequently, change jobs, change friends, drop in and out of treatment, etc.
Men who batter have a need to control; they define it as being in control of others--but are not in control of themselves. The control issue usually escalates in the relationship, ("Since this is the only person for me, I'd better make sure she doesn't get away".)
They view themselves as emotionally isolated, especially from other men. They have no true friends.
Abusive men hold traditional, rigid views of the world; such as, men and women have their "places", men are authority figures and have the right to be in control.
Abusers have few to no skills in reducing stress levels, other than battering.
Abusers can take responsibility for their behavior and learn how to change it, with intervention and counseling. Their behavior is learned and it can be unlearned and replaced with more appropriate behavior. He has a choice. The victim cannot make that choice for him, she cannot change him and shouldn't get caught into the trap of minimizing the violence herself, and the potential for danger.

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Roots of Battering and The Problem

	Battering has cultural, social, economic and psychological roots.
	The unequal power relationship between men and women contributes heavily to the problem.
	Frequently, family violence perpetuates itself-- as battered children, or children in families where battering occurred often, become batterers or battered women.
	It is a culturally accepted norm for men to use force on women.
	General social-economic conditions such as high unemployment, have an impact on battering.
	The socialization of boys and girls trains girls to be passive, and boys to be aggressive.
	There is little training or education done to help people deal with their emotions effectively, particularly the emotion of anger.
	Women are traditionally in a position of being economically dependent on men.

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The Battered Woman

	Regardless of what she has done, does not deserve to be abused or beaten; nor does she like it or ask for it.
	Frequently is caught between conflicting emotions, such as love and hate.
	Frequently lives a life of almost total isolation.
	Has learned to be submissive and feel powerless.
	Feels trapped because she is economically dependent with her partner, who abuses her.
	Feels frightened to call police or leave, due to the threat of retribution or retaliation from her partner, family or friends.
	Often needs help or information to be aware of her alternatives, so that she may make her own decisions and choices.
	Could have been a battered child growing up or witnessed abuse.
	Frequently blames herself or feels she deserves to be abused or beaten.
	Feels embarrassed about her situation because she feels that it reflects on her abilities as a woman, wife and mother.

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The Batterer

	Can change.
	Was frequently a battered child or witness to abuse.
	Needs help and information in order to break the batterer's syndrome.
	Has often been taught that he has the "right" to hit or punch his partner.
	Usually does not think or believe he has a problem.

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The Children

	Are frequently victims of abuse also.
	May suffer severe emotional trauma, as a result of seeing their mother hurt.
	Are at risk of ending up in similar relationships as adults.

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The Myths

	"Good wives" and "nice girls" don't get battered.
	Batterers abuse their partners because they love them.
	Domestic abuse is confined to the poor, disadvantaged, uneducated, particular age or ethnic groups.
	Battered women provoke their own abuse and battering.
	Battered women like to be abused or battered.
	Alcohol and drugs cause battering.
	All a battered woman has to do is call the police and deal with the situation.