having gone beyond convention.. UNCONVENTIONAL WOMEN. JR Topics

WHAT IS "UNCONVENTIONAL?"

Using the word "unconventional" in the sense of “having gone beyond convention:” nonconformist, original, unique, exceptional, distinctive. This has nothing to do with what shows - like an unusual appearance, a radical lifestyle, or a flamboyant way of being in the world - but with our internal lives. It is easy to forget how to listen to ourselves. We receive a flood of “you should” and “this is how it is” about every aspect of our lives. But what is true for one person may not be true for another, what works for me may not work for you. We can choose to close our ears to the external chatter so we can hear the inner voice. The closer you approach the essence of your life - what gives you meaning and purpose, what your body needs to be healthy, what makes you feel excited about what you are doing, what kind of space you feel comfortable in, how you relate happily to others - the more distinctive your solutions will be. In this sense, to be an unconventional woman is to become authentically yourself, whoever that turns out to be. "Yourself" may not bear much resemblance to the person your parents raised, or to the woman you thought you were. An unconventional woman is aware that all belief systems - cultural rules, science, religion, news, political commentary - are just that:   belief systems, which need to be carefully weighed against the truth of our own inner experience. This requires examining and cleaning out a kind of “clutter" - a being willing to question everything that has come to us from the outside world. Because once those beliefs become our own preconceptions and assumptions and judgments, they are powerful - they can determine everything from our minute-to-minute emotional states, to our health, to how we experience the events and people in our lives. Things in our world today are changing rapidly, possibly breaking down in ways we can't foresee. Huge natural and man-made disasters are front page news every month. Bottom line, it is our own clear thinking and inner balance which will keep us and those we care for safe and sane.   RETURN TO THE FEMININE Because women have grown up and lived in a patriarchal system, there is an empty place for most of us where feminine strength and values of would have been incorporated fully into our individual lives, and also honored by the external culture. In that vacuum we may feel ourselves lost, living lives that are not congruent with our deepest desires. And that's the good news! That assumes that we know what our deepest desires are and only lack the roadmap to get there. The bad news is that so many of us have had to compromise with the roles that are available, and the accomplishments that have been possible, that we can arrive at the second half of life without a clue as to what is the most important thing, the essential thing for each of us. This is not a problem limited to women, of course - everyone is constricted not only by social roles and responsibilities but by biology and psychology. At this age, we are lucky - as the veil of hormones begins to lift, we may find it harder to accept unquestioningly many aspects of our lives that have limited us. One approach to discovering our individual truth is to follow the paths hacked through the jungles of convention by intrepid women who have been reconstituting the concept of a woman-centered culture, and reinvesting it with the sacred significance it may once have had. Any one of these books will give you a hit of the transformative power of reclaiming our feminine values. by UnconventionalWoman.com: A resource website for  women after midlife, with special attention to single women