The things we can't stand in other people are usually the things we wish we could change about us. At first, you will be completely repelled to this concept and convinced that it makes no sense. The Opponent is tricky like that.
But just for today, take the top trait in others that you know makes you reactive, and spend a few minutes considering how you might do the same thing. Maybe in a different way, maybe in a different setting, maybe in regards to a different subject, but I promise you on a seed level the similarity is there.
You should know this is a major accomplishment in stepping out of victimization. To realize that when anyone upsets us it's not the other person you'are actually upset with.
The problem is never, ever external. It is always internal.
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JR